A CRABBIT OLD WOMAN
 

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What do you see nurses

What do you see?

 

What are you thinking

When you’re looking at me

 

A crabbit old woman,

Not very wise.

 

Uncertain of habit

With far-away eyes,

 

Who dribbles her food

And makes no reply

 

When you say in a loud voice 

‘I do wish you’d try’.

 

Who seems not to notice

The things that you do,

 

And forever is losing

A stocking or shoe,

 

Who unresisting or not

Lets you do as you will

 

With bathing and feeding

The long days to fill,

 

Is that what you’re thinking,

Is that what you see?

 

Then open your eyes, nurse,

You are not looking at me.

 

I’ll tell you who I am

As I sit here so still,

 

As I use at your bidding

As I eat at your will.

 

I’m a small child of ten

With a father and mother,

 

Brothers and sisters who

Love one another,

 

A young girl of sixteen

With wings on her feet,

 

Dreaming that soon now

A lover she’ll meet.

 

A bride soon, at twenty,

My heart gives a leap

 

Remembering the vows

That I promised to keep.

 

At twenty-five now

I have young of my own

 

Who need me to build

A secure happy home.

 

A  woman of thirty,

My young now grow fast,

 

Bound to each other

With ties that should last.

 

 

At forty my young sons

Now grown and will all be gone

 

But my man stays beside me

To see I don’t mourn.

 

At fifty once more 

Babies play round my knee,

 

Again we know children 

My loved one and me.

 

Dark days are upon me,

My husband is dead,

 

I look at the future,

I shudder with dread

 

For my young are all busy

Rearing young of their own.

 

And I think of the years

And the love I have known.

 

I’m an old woman now 

  And Nature is cruel

 

‘Tis her jest to make

Old age look like a fool.

 

The body it crumbles,

Grace and vigor depart,

 

There now is a stone

Where once I had a heart.

 

But inside this old carcass

A young girl still dwells,

 

And now and again

My battered heart swell,

 

I remember the joys 

I remember the pain

 

And I’m loving and living

Life over again.

 

I think of the years

All too few – gone too fast

 

And accept the stark fact

That nothing can last.

 

So open your eyes, nurses,

Open and see,

 

Not a crabbit old woman,

Look closer – see ME.

 

Kate

 

 

The writer of this poem was unable to speak,

Although was seen to write from time to time.

After her death, her locker was emptied and this 

poem of her life was found.